AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

fucking a I feel like shit... i dont know what i feel like this i feel like im not good at what i do school is killing me i am too brok for words... but im seeing money make money... i never knew that was real, but hey it is. here we are homecoming week, my senior year i should be havig the time of my life but this field negro shit is highly over rated. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck... i feel like i made the wrong choices in life on some things... should i still be here? should i have come here... well if i hadnt i wouldnt have me all these people that i know and love... its like if i would ahve gone to another school like in illinois, where would i be now, better yet if i had done better here where would i be, what if i never joined the newspaper staff... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH here i am on the cusp of happy and sad, broker than i dont know what... but i have awesome friends, my grade are the suckiest they have ever been in my life i feel like a moron like i have failed or something... until i got here i didnt know what the hell a C was, now i pray for them. i had to drop a class today that there was just no hope in... however i have the love of a great man... speaking of that love, it still confusses me, the relationship has gone from 50 50 to about 80 80, we haven surrendered ourselves to eachother yet. i feel like he has a lot more love to give but hes waiting on me to do something before we actually give 100% of ourselves... *sigh... Im still crap at my job, well you woul dlook like crap too if you had superman with a foot in retirement and the other on my back... not that im bitter or anything...